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This morning was better.
I woke up to a flood of light pouring into the half-circle shaped window that adorns the top of our regular, rectangular window.
A well lit room,
In a surprisingly comfortable bed,
After a decent night's sleep.
Anything a girl could ask for, yeah?
I lied in bed for a brief moment.
Annoyed.
Why was it so bright? It was only nine o clock. It's too early for it to be this bright.
Why was it so hot? Why did the A/C shut off? I can't get out of my covers, because I would just feel so exposed in front of my roommate.
Why was I awake? I've only been asleep for a few hours, surely I have a couple more in me.
I lied in bed for a brief moment.
Unsure of what to do with myself.
It was as if I forgot how to go about with my life. My day.
I forgot how to get out of bed, and go to the bathroom, and brush my teeth, and fix my hair.
I forgot how to wake up and just know what I was going to do with my day.
I sat up.
Now what?
Am I hungry? Should I eat breakfast? Should I shower? Should I get dressed and leave? But then where do I go? What do I do?
I lied back down. Unsure. Unsure of everything.
I called my sister.
It was a brief conversation. Nothing too extreme. Nothing too important.
But talking to her,
Hearing the familiar elevator noise as she descended to the first level of her work,
Hearing her scold the children in the background,
Hearing Stella laugh into the phone,
I felt connected.
So I said goodbye, hung up, got out of bed, walked to the kitchen, toasted a bagel thin, smeared it with natural peanut butter, poured myself a glass of water, and went back to my room.
Then I turned on my iPod speakers, and proceeded to play music as I ate and tidied up my room.
And when I started rifling through my new closet, trying to decide what to wear on a day that I had no plans, Scythian Empire by Andrew Bird came on.
And something sort of hit me.
Andrew Bird was playing,
As I got dressed in my own apartment,
In my well-lit shared room,
With a surprisingly comfortable bed,
After a decent nights sleep.
And I felt good.
And I think about what to do today. And all the possibilities.
I think about walking to the campus,
And walking around, trying to get a feel for the next nine months of school,
And I think about driving around trying to get to know the town.
And I think about coming back to my apartment in a couple of hours and making lunch for myself.
Getting out a pan,
And chopping up up spinach,
And melting cheese onto my eggs,
And I feel good.
And I think about how easy it will be to drive home for the Death Cab for Cutie concert tonight.
And how easy it will be come back to Orem.
I think about how easy it is to go back and forth between a place I know and a place I will know.
And I'm comforted.
I'm not gone.
I haven't left.
And neither have you.
You,
The universal comfort that I need,
Are in Salt Lake.
And Salt Lake
Is right around the point of the mountain.
And on the weather settings on my phone,
And the concert tickets on my wall.
Salt Lake is here.
And even though not everyone I need is in Salt Lake.
Even though they'll be scattered all over the place.
Logan, Virginia, New York.
I'm not far from the things I know.
50 miles, 100 miles, a thousand miles away.
It doesn't matter where I am, I don't think.
And I think I know that now.
And it was all because of Andrew Bird.
And the flood of light that's pouring into the half-circle window that adorns the top of our regular, rectangular window.
- Adriana
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1 comments:
I'm glad you're feeling better :) I miss you!
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