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I have six blog posts drafted up, at current.
I have 5 other ideas written down, but not yet actualized.
I have half an essay,
Two drafted tweets,
And one-third of a list in my day planner
All written up.
Never finished.
I have not been able to write lately.
I’m not sure why. There has been a major writer’s block in my brain. I want to write things, but as soon as I sit down to do so, the words don’t come out. I can’t think of the proper way to verbalize them. So I get half way through, then read what I have thus far, then realize I’m not writing well because I don’t have a particular inspiration to write, and then I give up.
I’m not sure why.
But I am sure it’s frustrating.
So
Today I woke up
(After actually having gone to my math class)
Turned on my classical playlist
And told myself to write about not being able to write.
Perhaps writing it out will help me through the writer’s block.
So far it’s not working.
I can feel myself slowly disliking what I’m writing and what I’ve written so far.
In two minutes I’m going to pause, review, then exit.
Chopin, you’re not helping.
This writer’s block is a bad thing, you see.
For at least three reasons.
Reason one:
I have a paper for English that was due last week that I have yet to finish and turn in. I talked to my professor about it, and he was cool with it, but I need to finish it soon so I am not a bad student.
Reason two:
The longer I put off writing the things I want to write, the more I forget about why I want to write them.
Looking back at my list of blog ideas, I can’t remember why I thought at least two of them would be interesting. And then I try to think of what I would write regarding those things, and I draw blanks. There is no story there. There is not enough story there. What was I thinking?
Reason three:
I really enjoy writing.
And this small funk that I am in is throwing off my chi.
I am not inspired.
And it’s frustrating me.
And google isn’t working.
And I need to water my cactus.
And I want to clean my room.
And I have class in 20 minutes.
And I am not dressed in proper out-in-public clothing yet.
Okay. Okay okay okay okay okay.
I am going to:
Get dressed.
Go to class.
Have lunch with my sister.
Talk to her about this.
Come home.
Clean my room.
Finish my essay.
Because after doing all these things, particularly cleaning my room, I will feel de-cluttered and un-funked, and I will be able to write.
And I will listen to Yo-Yo Ma playing Prelude from Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1, and I will be inspired.
Perhaps not by the song, even, but I will feel rejuvenated to write.
Right?
Yes?
No?
I hope so.
I have to go.
- Adriana
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