Dear Chick-Fil-A,


I was recently informed of the new dip at your franchise, appropriately named "Chick-Fil-A Sauce."
When I heard this, and heard it was sort of a honey mustard and barbecue sauce hybrid, I was immediately intrigued.
The thing is, Chick-Fil-A, I love you lots.
Like... a lot a lot.
So when this new sauce came to my attention, I wanted nothing more than to try it.
For years I have been a faithful customer of your food. 
I remember back in 2004, my sister and I bought Chick-Fil-A and sneaked (snuck? snook?)
Back in 2004, my sister and I bought Chick-Fil-A and Snookied it into the movie theater to watch Mean Girls.
This proves two things:
1) I have loved you for at least seven years now.
2) I am willing to break the law for you, Chick-Fil-A.
This love,
It's deep man. 
However,
The other thing is,
I made a recent transition into vegetarianism.
....
I'm sure you understand, now, where the problem lies. 
You have just come out with a new sauce,
The sauce of all sauces,
And I am not able to taste it the way it was meant to be tasted.
Sure, I can get fries and let that suffice. 
I could.
But why should I have to settle?
Why shouldn't I be able to taste this new sauce with the succulent flavors of your chicken just because I'm vegetarian?
Don't look at me like that, Chick-Fil-A.
You know where I'm going with this.
What I propose is this:
You guys come up with an amazing, life-altering chicken substitute that I know you are capable of creating. 
Then you take this faux-meat, and prepare it the way you would the rest if your chicken.
Chick-Fil-A,
Listen to me,
This is a billion dollar idea. 
If there is one thing I miss the most as a vegetarian,
It's you, Chick-Fil-A.
And I promise,
If there's one thing you will miss,
It's my business.
Because practically, 
I can/will eat you enough to keep you in business for years and years to come.
Think of all the money you're losing by not offering a vegetarian option.
Not just from me, even.
FROM ALL VEGETARIANS.
Chick-Fil-A,
Baby,
You're just too good. 
You could break grounds with this.
You could gain millions of followers with this.
And I ain't talking about Twitter.
(But while we're on the subject, do you have a Twitter? I'll check and follow you after I'm done writing this letter.)
I want you Chick-Fil-A.
I want you bad.
So please,
I am shamelessly begging you,
Please make it so that the vegetarians of the world can enjoy your food just as much as everyone else.
We're people too, Chick-Fil-A.
Don't forget about us.


Sincerely yours,
Adriana

Tags: chick-fil-a, letter, rant