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It is 3:30 AM and I am sitting here cross-legged on my bed, with the lights off, retainer in (mmmsexy), my laptop open and an iTunes jazz/vocals genius mix transmitting into my ears.
And I am not
In any shape, way or form
Tired.
Therefore, I am blogging.
In fact, I have decided to start a new series.
You see, I don’t sleep anymore. I’m not sure why. I just don’t. I sleep, but I sleep during the day. Then at night, I let my hair loose and let the geese run wild.
Or some other phrase that is somewhere/nowhere along those lines and makes more sense.
Point is, I’m starting a new series.
A series I will call
Three things will come of this series.
- I will have something to do at night when the internet is turned off and I am left to my thoughts. Which no one likes to be left to alone, amirite?
- It will give me an excuse to blog more often, and at an hour when my speech is uninhibited and writing becomes easier.
- I will learn how to spell insomniac correctly on the first try. At the moment it takes me at least two.
Our first adventure will detail the story of my growing obsession with online shopping.
It all started when I signed up for Amazon Prime.
What is Amazon Prime, you ask?
Amazon Prime is an $80-a-year membership of some sorts that you can sign up for on amazon.com. It gives you really awesome shipping benefits such as free two day shipping and 3.99 overnight shipping on all eligible Prime offers.
Sure, sure. When I heard about it I was like “Yeah, Mrs. Gardner. That sounds really awesome. Free shipping, that’s amazing.”
But then.
Then, my friends.
I found out it was free for students.
If you are a college student and you enjoy purchasing things, I implore you to sign up for it.
If you are a college student and you don’t enjoy purchasing things, get yoself checked, and sign up for it anyways.
Because of Prime, I began to really discover the wonderment that is Amazon.
Prime, this is your fault.
Because of you, I bought a book for only dollars. Four. And it was in my hands only two days after I purchased it. Do you understand how enticing that is, Prime? Do you understand what that does to me?
It makes me buy more books I don’t need, that’s what.
After that, I searched Amazon for a laptop case. When I couldn’t find one that I liked, I tried to think of other websites that had a large pool of things I could search and purchase.
Etsy.com came to mind.
I know what you’re thinking. Oh no.
Oh no, indeed.
I finally found a case that I liked, and purchased that as well. Granted, this one was a little pricey, but it was also my graduation present from my father so I didn’t feel bad.
Because I bought this bag on Etsy, however, and because my mind was still on Prime deals, I began to search Etsy for ridiculously underpriced items.
Ask and ye shall receive. There they were. Underpriced and ready for the taking.
Underpriced, mind you, because they are totally worthless.
But when something is only 50 cents and they are offering free shipping and I have an eager debit card on hand, why wouldn’t I buy it?
So then I started thinking – where else can I buy things for super-di-duper cheap? Even better…. where can I get things for free?
Fast forward to tonight when thus began my search for internet freebies.
They are all over the place, homes. Truly. If you search “freebies in (hometown)” you are sure to find a website that will link you to freebie after freebie.
And they’re totally lame freebies. Things like free samples of juice-mix packets and Miracle Whip.
But WHY WOULDN’T I WANT THAT?
From there, I found websites where you sign up, rack up points, and in the end redeem rewards from them. savemore.com and swagbucks.com what I’m talking about here. On the former, you get $10 just for signing up. They have daily deals from an $8 reusable Essie bag, to $80 dollars worth of mineral makeup for $40 dollars. You can bet your pretty face I will be waiting until there is a deal under $10 dollars, so I can use that $10 dollar reward I have then move on with my life. I just want something for free, right?
The latter is a bit cooler. Upon sign up, you are rewarded these things called “swagbucks.” You earn swagbucks from doing all kinds of things. Watching videos, taking polls, playing games. You can even earn them by searching your everyday searches, through their search engine (powered by Google and Ask.) The more swagbucks you earn, the more you can redeem it for. Apparently, they hand out $50 amazon.com gift cards like they’re candy. I don’t know how many swagbucks you need to get something that big, but I will surely stick around to find out.
Why? Because I just want to buy things online. There is something gratifying about online shopping. And what I did tonight is hardly shopping. It’s more online bargaining. Online mooching, if you will.
Guaranteed I will be on the internet tomorrow, visiting blogs and websites and things of the sort to see which ones I can email and convince to send me free things.
If I send a complaint to Orbit for discontinuing my favorite gum, do you think they’ll send me a free packet of gum?
#thingstothinkabout
Thank goodness I’ve become obsessed with all the things I can purchase online for ridiculously cheap.
If not I’d be screwed.
Though, honestly, I think I’m just excited about receiving things in the mail.
Perhaps I’ll start a series called What Adriana Got in the Mail Today.
Things I’m expecting in the mail:
- A book
- A laptop bag
- A free Fathers Day card
- A sample of a homemade scented pillow, or something or the other.
- A sample of water juice-mix-packet-things.
- A sample of Miracle Whip. (I wasn’t kidding.)
SO MANY THINGS TO COME IN THE POST OH I’M SO EXCITED.
Wanna make my month? Send me things. I’m serious. Just do it.
Talk to you soon. Get some sleep. I know I won’t.
- Adriana
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